I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
I was wondering if I fell or perhaps got hit by a truck, then I remembered, it's cause I did a splits contest at the bar
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Randomize
