I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize
