She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
