He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
