what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
Randomize
