Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
Randomize
