just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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