a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
Randomize
