I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
