Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
his basement wasnt heated so when i asked for a hoodie someone gave me a kimono.. i passed bc who the fuck knows where that shit has been recently
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
