I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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