My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
