why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
He turned down a handjob. A HANDJOB. I know I'm no Jessica Simpson, but...
Actually, she's fat now, so...
Fuck. I AM Jessica Simpson.
Houston, we have a blender
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
Randomize
