i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Randomize