I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
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