Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
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