And then he asked me why the subtitles were in Arabic. The television was off.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
can you just act like it's not so easy to get a blowjob from me??
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
