Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
