I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
