definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
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