I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
when i came out to my mom, it was over brunch. i was eating a banana. not exactly my smartest breakfast choice.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Randomize
