I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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