there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Randomize
