Sober January is a disaster.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
Randomize
