But i just feel like he will pull it out and ill panic. I mean its fairly basic. Up and down. But i feel like ill just freak out.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
