You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Its like every time I go out with you, it always involves Serbian chicks and taco bell and you always manage to get both all over my bed.
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
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