He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Randomize
