This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
He literally asked permission to hit on me
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
Randomize
