He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
Randomize
