My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
I'm still confused. So he's NOT your cousin by blood, but WAS your cousin, on two separate occasions, by marriage? Still too weird I think...
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
