i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I think the world might be a better place if everyone was capable of having open relationships.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
