just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
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