The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
I'm telling people I'm celibate. It sounds cooler when it's by choice.
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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