Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Is it uncouth to have a themed intervention? I know how much you like Star Wars.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
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