i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I don't know what it was about last night, but every bar that i went to there was at least one girl there that i had done something with. I'm sure the girl that i went with knew because they all grabbed my penis and told me to call them.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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