I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
