8$ liquor pitchers. I'm gonna wear two or three pairs of underwear so when drunk me takes them off there'll still be a pair on.
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
