It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
