I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
