I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Randomize
