bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I wasn't going to drink tonight, but was reminded this is the anniversary of prohibition being repealed. If I don't, then I am against my profession of bartending and anti-American, right?
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
Randomize
