I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
