you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
Randomize
