And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
Is it sanitary to roast marshmallows over a cigarette lighter?
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
