Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
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