My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Your dad touched me again.
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
We're upstairs smoking....the password is pineapple
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Randomize
