i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Randomize
