no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
Randomize
