Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
