The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
