I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
