Got a toothbrush?
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I didn't pay for a single drink 'help me I'm poor' was my drink pickup line. it totally worked.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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