Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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