Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
Randomize
