Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
Randomize
