"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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