I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
