Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
