If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
