Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
