What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
