We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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